Lover of Love

Relationships can be great while they last but unfortunately, break ups do happen. They are nerve wracking, stressful and frustrating. If you are involved in a relationship that breaks up, you may be debating do you want to try to get back together with your beloved or get back at him or her for breaking your heart. Those goals don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Check out these 5 strategies that work whether you want to get your ex back or just get back at your ex.

1 – BE STRONG – Breaking up doesn’t need to reduce you to a crying blob – this is totally not attractive. So whether you want to get your ex back or get back at your ex there is no place for begging, clinging or desperate behavior. So whether you are moving on or trying to move back in you want your ex think that you have moved on and are doing great. Living well is much more attractive than begging and crying.

2 – MINIMIZE COMMUNICATION – Right after a break up you need to step back and take a break. Actively pursing someone who doesn’t want to be pursued will only make them run away and that is not what you want. By taking that step back and giving your ex some space it will give your ex a chance to miss you and the relationship putting you back in control.

3 – BE FLEXIBLE - Do not be overly demanding with your ex, such as demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible. Listen and sympathize with your ex’s feelings. Your ex will be surprised when they see this side of you, and it may inspire them to reassess the break up.

4 – GET OUT - This is no time for you to be alone. Staying at home alone leads to sulking or worse yet could leave you vulnerable to pursuing your ex instead of giving them space. S0, call your friends and get out of the house. Develop a social network, take a class or start a new hobby.. This may not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will make you much more attractive your ex if you want them back. Of course if you want to get back at him or her then living well is the best revenge. IT lets your ex really see what they are missing.

5 – BE YOURSELF – You have to true to yourself. Trying to change to be someone you are not just to please someone else never works long term. If your ex doesn’t love you for who you are then the relationship is doomed anyway so start looking for someone who will love you for you.

~~Clair Bennett