broken-heart3Have you experienced a recent break up? No matter who initiated the break up you may find yourself trying to figure out “How can I get my girlfriend back.” Well slow down for a minute before you go on an all out pursuit of your ex. It is often a excellent thought to weigh the pros and cons of rekindling the relationship before you jump back into it.

It is often a excellent thought to really look at the pros and cons objectively. Start by making a list of all the positive reasons to get back together. Next make list of all the reasons your shouldn’t get back together. BE honest now – there is excellent and terrible to every relationship. You just need to make sure the relationship is worth salvaging and your are not just acting on an emotional impulse.

So let’s start with the positive list. How do you feel when you are around her? Does she bring out the best qualities in you? Can you trust her? Do you like to do the same things? Really reckon about every aspect of the relationship.

Next let’s look at the negatives. Again does she bring out the best in you and make you feel excellent? IF you often feel jealous or nervous or mad then she doesn’t bring out the best in you and you would need to list that on the negative side. Does she have any terrible habits that drive you crazy? Is she overly critical or does she want different things than you do out of the relationship? Really be honest here.

Now compare the lists. Does the excellent outweigh the terrible or the other way around? Remember it is not about the sheer number of items on each side but more about the importance of each item on each side of the list. There could be only one negative but it is something huge that really stops the relationship cold (like she keeps cheating on you or something like that.)

So now that you have really thought about it do you still want to get your ex girlfriend back? Well here are a few tips and tricks.

First start by taking a break. That is don’t immediately start pursuing her with a vengeance take some time to do your own thing. It is really vital that during this time where there is no communication between you and your ex girfriend that you can focus on ways that you can improve your life for yourself (rather than focusing on your ex or the relationship). So make a date with your buddies, get out of the house, take a class or start a new leisure activity. The key is to pick one or two things that are fascinating to you but just stay busy. This is going to be a challenging time, and it is going to require discipline to prevent you from returning to your ancient ways. Keeping busy will help keep you from falling back into that terrible habit of pursuing you ex-girlfriend.

Since you will no longer be pursuing your ex, the dynamics of your relationship with her will really change. You will become fascinating (maybe even mysterious!) to her. This can work in your favor. Now your ex is in a position to really miss you, which is not possible when you are pursuing her.

You must remember that the key to this strategy and reversing your break up is to work with human nature rather than against it. Stop focusing on “how I do to get my ex girlfriend back” and start thinking about you can give your ex an opportunity to miss you. Play a small hard to get. Once you implement this basic strategy you can restore abalance to the relationship and allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place. Then you will be in a much better position to get back together with your ex-girlfriend.

~~Clair Bennett

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