Should I try to get back with my ex?
We dated for 8 months and it got really terrible towards the end with him withholding sex and me nagging about it. there were a lot of problems in our relationships, like me being insecure becuase of past relationships and he got fed up with constantly telling me otherwise, etc. and as the relationship went on, he got more and more emotionally distant to the point that he didnt want to have sex anymore which made me feel really unwanted and terrible about myself. and the more i would question about it or try to talk to hom about it, the more he would shut me out until we where fighting nearly every day and now broken up for a week. He told me its becuase he needs his space and for me to do my own thing and i wanted too much attention and too affection and he couldnt give me that, I wanted to at least talk to him once a day on the phone or text and he didnt want to talk that often which made me feel unwanted, but now i realize thats just how he is and am not taking it personally. I miss him and like him and want him back, is this relationship worth saving if I promise to give him more space etc? i’m starting to feel like i made a mistake. help me.
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July 10th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Everyone needs affection, some more than others but because of your insecurities you have become to ‘needy’. Seems like you lack a bit of confidence as well.
Nothing is incorrect with speaking to your partner everyday. Face to face is always best but people do what they can under different circumstances.
The problem now is that because you nag him so much needing that boost of confidence, it gets too annoying so now he doesn’t want to speak with you everyday.
Assuming he does still like you this is only temporary. You need to believe in yourself a bit & not depend on his input ALL THE TIME to make you feel special. (sometime is okay)
Do not nag him for anything. Do not argue. (that’s very annoying) Give him some space like a few days, then call him ever so often every 2 or 3 days. If he likes you he will miss you & come back around & you two will be talking everyday like it supposed to be in a healthy relationship.
The excellent thing is you know your problem so you can fix it.
A man wants a partner not someone who constantly questions “Am I too stout?”, “Am I too skinny”, “should I wear this?” every single second. (not that you say that, it’s just hypothetical)
The fact that he was with you shows that he loved you. Now you just have to believe in yourself & do things to please him, instead of trying to satisfy your insecurities or cravings.
If you are pleasing him he will appreciate you & go out of his way to please you as well. That’s how a relationship should work. Place the interest of the other person ahead of your own.
Best wishes.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I know you really like him and want it back and just want to be pleased with him again but maybe you only feel that way because being with him is simple and familiar? With relationships like these it’s always hard to return to how it once was because of the baggage, it’s hard to forget and let go. I’m sure you two had a fantastic relationship before you had problems but it sounds like you’d be more pleased (in the long run) if you accepted that you two had a fantastic time while it lasted, but that you are moving onto newer, better relationships with other fantastic guys, because they are out there. I know you want the simple and familiar and it’s really hard to let it go, but you’ll be MUCH more pleased if you accept it as a fantastic, but over relationship.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
The way i see it you shouldn’t get back with him. First this isn’t a problem. It is the problem. If you started fighting about this then this is what you will always fight about. It will get to a point when you guys won’t even talk anymore. You guys will just be living together or being together for convenience. While you stay attached to him he will just push you more away. Trust me you shouldn’t get back together again.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
i swear you sound like someone i know but anyways well neither one of you really did anything incorrect but you are willing to compromise is he willing to give you what you want like sex at least once a week or so & he should be willing to talk to you at least one time a day for a few minutes if not you will get the same feeling but i guess its worth a shot